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Day 30 of 30: the Queen

I am broken

I am raw
And new

I am falling
And flying

I am healing post-you

All the parts that were jagged
Now form a peaceful ring
All the sadness and desperation
Have taught me how to sing

All the parts you couldn’t lift up
To the realm of untouchable queen

I have elevated myself
And I am like nothing you have ever seen

Every memory you have of me
Wipe it clean for I am no longer her

Every heartache you’re holding above me
Take it with you I won’t live under them anymore

The only thing that goes above my head
Is a crown and a second chance

The chance I’ve given myself
When your silence almost paralyzed my soul’s dance

The thing about forgiveness
Is you can’t wait until it is given

It’s a gift you gift yourself
Your own tiny piece of heaven

So go find yours

Day 29 of 30: new moon

Broken hearts
To unbroken willpower
The cracks on the outside
Have a steel mirror within
Without becoming brittle
Without becoming so sharp
Your heart knows how to protect itself
It’s like the human eye
When it gets infected
It starts to form protective soft layers
Around the injured area
The eye will close in the wound
Because even wounds need protection
They deserve to heal too
Just as much as the healthy parts
The heart performs this same process

The wider it breaks open
The more the veins form
A steel barrier
Closing in on the broken memories
The sad echo of yesterday’s long forgotten love
Forever immortalized in a veiny cage

Life is a balance
Of hardening
And softening
But never breaking down
Bending like the willow
In all storms
In all wars on the battlefield of our limited understanding

My heart would open if you
Just used the key
Veins are not prison bars
They melt in the presence of fluidity
Of life force
Of the sweet vulnerability that pulses through our blood
And gushes into our hearts every day to keep us alive

The only way it keeps beating
Is by letting the vulnerable blood river
Cleanse it
And again
No matter how many times we build our own dam

Day 28 of 30: find the Phoenix

Find the phoenix inside of you
And never let it go
Find the part that keeps on going
Don’t give it a chance to say no
Find the part that rises above when no one else can see
Find the Phoenix and let it burn
Its ashes become its seeds
Find the seed that grows the fastest
Water it with will
Find the seed that reaches new heights
Then climb it…only when you reach the top allow yourself to be still
The seed that becomes the tree that becomes the part of you that can never be cut down
The heart that becomes the spirit that becomes the Phoenix who ascends without a sound
Find the part that never gives up
The part that brought you here to rise
Find the part that won’t shut up
That stays alive in between your cries
The part that is louder than any scream you’ve ever released
The part that is stronger than any part of you that hurt when you were teased
The part that swims even when the ship is sinking
The part that soars even when your wings are broken

Find that part
And know

No one can ever take
What you don’t show

Day 27 of 30: sweetness

Every day
I have at least one moment
When I catch the glance of a child
A baby
A toddler

And for some reason
They always seem to smile at me
As if we’ve known each other
In lifetimes past

Perhaps we have
Perhaps every day I come across one friend
From a long forgotten life

Who has just returned
To start earth school all over again

I hope we learn something new this time around.

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